Coming of Age

I am 28. At this age when most people have already started their own families, climbed up a bit on the corporate ladder, or perhaps have started to move into their own homes, I have just started to discover the magic of the concealer, the importance of having a ready black dress in the closet, and the beauty of shaped, waxed, silky soft legs.

Don't get me wrong, i am not as naive as i was when i was 18.  I was never naive, even if sometimes i tend or appear innocent.  I know about sex and relationships, work and career, poverty and sickness just like some of the majority do.  But i am at a point where it seems to me i dont know much. I havent experienced enough. And i haven't done anything significantly grand.

I have climbed mountains, crossed small seas, flown once or twice.  I've gone out of town with a close friend, some close friends.  I have tasted some good food.  And i have experienced the beating of life.  Still i want more.

At 28, when most ladies have settled, I am at a point where I continue to discover what I am looking for in a partner.  I have dated the bad guys and the excitement of rush romances now bores me.  The good guys of the past, you know the smarty pants who fancy the popular girls and never did give me a second look then; or perhaps treated me like one of the guys - they have become emotionally, financially, and spiritually stable.  I like it.

There are times when I tend to think that I am still that skinny, nerdie, awkward teenager that goes unnoticed, but the glances I get tell me otherwise.  I am at the age when my body curves become prominent, the skin cleared of outbreaks, and my hair has been colored to match my skin color. More than that, I have become more confident and respectful of the self.  I have learned to love my skinny geeky past and embrace the lovely curvy woman that I have become.

I am at the age when all I want to do is explore, learn more, be more, serve more and love more.  I am excited to dig into life and breathe wisdom deeper into my being.  I am at this point where I have gotten more conscious of God and His undying Love for me.

At times I still ask why do I feel this only now?  If I were more confident, forgiving, accepting, and loving in the past, my life would have been different and more exciting.  However, there is no proof that it would have been better.  I am who I am now because of my decisions-good or bad.  One thing is certain, God is guiding me through everything and He is making me perfect every single day.

I am 28, but I feel like I am a 17 year old kid who is excited to see more what life has to offer.  It is only recently that I learned to travel, wear dresses, and do my make up.  It is only recently when I learned to respect myself and love myself more.  It is only recently that the good guys start to notice and appreciate me.  It is only recently that I felt that God is presenting me with great experiences -- it is only recently when I put in effort to look and acknowledge it; only recently when I learned to truly enjoy everything.

I have come of age. And God has been patient with me.  This is God's time. My perfect time.

Nelson Mandela Rocks! 1994 Inaugural Address

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” - Nelson Mandela

This is what pushes me to be the best I can be. I will let my light shine. Insecures go to hell.

Our rating: 5 of 5 stars

Wannabe

A friend told me earlier tonight that he will enter the army next year. Initially, he was planning to get into the air force and be a pilot for the armed forces, however, he has just declared that next year he will start training for the army.

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I have been fond of soldiers and soldiers wanna be since high school. Maybe because I found the discipline, focus and courtesy attractive. I was exposed in high school Citizen Army Training. I liked my experience so much that I thought of enrolling with the PMA. My parents were totally against it and my heart seems to favor being in law school more than in the military academy that I decided to pursue pre-law at a university.

While there, I can't keep myself away from the ROTC. However, events lead me not to the cadet corps but to the sponsors' organization. It was during this time too that I assisted one of my male college friends to take the PMA exams. He passed but did not pursue training.

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Only recently a batch mate of mine died in a Mindanao mission. He is someone I was not able to meet during our college years but seeing my organization mates from his former Alma mater get hurt and cry over his demise somehow made me feel the pain of losing a soldier friend.

That was what made me tell this young friend of mine who is planning to get into the army that I will hug him before he goes to Mindanao.

I know, not everyone goes there die. I know also that dying in Mindanao is not an option to any soldier going there. But reality is that we are at war in Mindanao. And war does not care whom will it sacrifice. I want to be able to hug my friend even before he goes. A prayer for his safety will go with that too.

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Like before, I salute and admire young men and women who take the soldier's noble profession.