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Saturday, May 4, 2013

Lovestruck: Love is a (bitter) BETTER feeling

Have you ever thought that Love is a bitter feeling?

You know that feeling of resentment when you see happy couples doing that HHWW (Holding hands while walking) or HHWWPSSP (Holding Hands While Walking Pa-Sway Sway Pa)?

You may have even caught yourself saying, "lolokohin ka lang niyan!"  (He/She is out to fool you).

Bitter. Ampalaya.

I have been bitter myself. In high school, all my crushes ran away from me. In college, my crush avoided me. I was a happy kid but those moments when people you like don't like you back makes you question if you are lovable.  And since you don't accept it, you feel resentment towards the prospect of loving.  My defense mechanism then was to be cynical about love.  To expect the worst to happen so I will no longer the mourn of unrequited love.  I like someone, he does not like me, it is okay, I knew it.

I made relationships, they broke up with me, it is okay, I knew it.

I knew what?

I was so bitter I made stories in my head.  Perhaps they didn't like me because I am not smart enought, I am not pretty enough, I am not rich enough.  I thought no one can like me because... and then list all things that are not lovable about me.  The result, I have psyched myself in believing I am not worthy to be loved, that if anyone should love me I owe it to them so I should be more loving to them than myself.

LOVE is NOT bitter.

It is only after sometime that I learned to let go of my bitter feelings.  We are made to love and from love and as a person of love, it is inevitable that we are to discover the beauty of our real self.

Some say that after a breakup you realize who are your real friends.  After a breakup, you get to spend more time with family members.  The sister you used to hate becomes your best friend.  The brother who used to tease you is now the one who wipes your tears.  Your mom, that one person who told you she does not like the boy you're dating is the one hugging you in those painful days/nights of getting back to your feet.

It is in these instances of love that you get to realize love is not bitter.  You may not have the relationship you wish you have but you have already been given the friends and family who love you - a testament that Love, God, sees the beauty in you and loves you no matter what.

A broken heart is not the picture of LOVE

Love is bitter.  This picture is brought about by the sadness of a broken heart.  The songs that reminds you of the one you love that went away brings to mind that love is all about it - bitterness, betrayal, sadness, loneliness.  That is not love.

Love is way better.  Choosing to love is the best thing.
Pain, sadness, loneliness, we feel that when we are rejected, or cheated on, or betrayed.  The good news is, all of them are temporary.  All of them will be gone, only when we learn to let go.  Once we let go, the bitter feelings lose their power.  You will then get to see the beauty around you, the gloomy days of broken hearts while they may not be totally over now start to see light.  The rain has stopped, the clouds are suddenly lightening up.

Once you have accepted that bitterness is temporary. Once you have decided to open your heart to let go of all the negative feelings and accepted the love around you.  Only then will you find yourself happy and smiling again. With or without a relationship; with or without a love life, you know you are loved. You are loved. You are loved.

Love is a better feeling.